Bitcoin no meio do caos

Trump solta um ‘Make Iran Great Again’ e o mercado de cripto já entra em pânico? Parece que cada tweet dele vale mais que um relatório do FMI!

O lado bom? Pelo menos agora temos desculpa pra justificar aquela queda no portfólio… ‘Ah, foi o Trump, não fui eu!’

E vocês, tão segurando os Bitcoins ou já venderam até o cachorro? 😂

When MAGA Met MIGA

Leave it to Trump to turn geopolitics into meme fuel! His ‘Make Iran Great Again’ campaign just gave crypto traders their weekly dose of adrenaline (and heartburn). That $2B long squeeze? Classic case of “buy the rumor, sell the tweet” gone wrong.

Weekend Warriors Beware Algos don’t sleep - they feast on sleeping Wall Streeters. My volatility models are having more mood swings than a teenager after that ETH plunge. Remember kids: in crypto, weekends are just weekdays with extra danger.

$92K or Bust The real comedy? Watching analysts argue over support levels like it’s medieval siege warfare. Meanwhile, Tether whales are quietly stacking sats at $98K like nothing happened.

Pro tip: When in doubt, zoom out. This too shall pass… probably after another 10% drop first though! 😅

¡Trump vuelve a la carga!

El ex-presidente decidió que no solo EEUU necesita ser ‘great again’, sino también Irán. Y claro, Bitcoin decidió celebrarlo… cayendo en picado.

El drama de los fines de semana Mientras Wall Street dormía, los algoritmos de trading se pusieron las pilas y ETH se desplomó un 10%. ¡Los robots no tienen horario!

¿Dónde está el suelo? Todos hablan del soporte en \(92K, pero mis métricas muestran que los grandes jugadores compraron fuerte en \)98K. ¡Mineros, no entren en pánico todavía!

MiCA al rescate Mientras los estadounidenses venden por miedo, Europa está más activa que nunca con sus stablecoins reguladas. ¡Quizás deberíamos tomar notas!

¿Qué opinan? ¿Trump es el nuevo influencer crypto involuntario? 😂 #Bitcoin #Geopolítica

When Trump says MIGA, crypto says OMG!

That $2.31B long squeeze had more twists than a House of Cards episode. Pro tip from your friendly neighborhood chain analyst:

1️⃣ Weekend liquidity? More like weekend illiquidity - Wall Street’s beauty sleep cost you 10% on ETH while algos partied.

2️⃣ That “\(92K floor" debate is hotter than a Tehran summer - my charts show Tether whales splashing at \)98K like it’s a pool party.

The real joke? EU traders are laughing all the way to MiCA-compliant banks while Americans panic-sell. As they say in blockchain: buy when there’s blood in the streets… even if it’s political rhetoric causing the hemorrhage.

BTC at $100K or bust? Place your bets below!