As a crypto analyst who's weathered three market cycles, I've seen collapses - but nothing like FTX. Sam Bankman-Fried's empire evaporated faster than a meme coin's liquidity pool. This isn't just about lost billions; it's a masterclass in how unchecked genius can become systemic fraud. Through forensic data and dark humor, I'll unpack how FTX turned 'effective altruism' into ineffective accounting, why its $160B backdoor scheme was doomed from start, and what this means for crypto's adulthood. Spoiler: the math never lies - even when founders do.